The Blog of kinkitty

The darkness fades as the deep black turns to dark blue .. before the sun rises … yes .. I am referring to this magical time when time itself stands still, when everything is completely quite … almost waiting for something to happen to start the day … steam rising from the little river quietly trickling by. Then it happens … the birds starts to sing, animals starts their daily scurrile, and the forest becomes alive as the sun peeps over the horizon.

The red’s, yellow’s and brown’s of fall almost starts to glimmer at first touch of the sun’s rays. However cold it is out here at this moment, it’s always worth the drive out here … getting up way to early this morning just to have an excuse to take another rout to work … telling myself that this seeing beauty will somehow sooth the emptiness inside.

But not today. Today I let the tears flow freely. The warmth running over my ice cold cheeks …. Here where no-one can see me, where no-one will ask why. I don’t know why .. I don’t want to know today. I just know that it would have been great to have a strong arm to hold me now. Great to not be so alone anymore.

The sun now completed it’s rise, and the tears have dried. I get back into my car, touch up the make-up, and prepare my smile for today. Mmm lets see which smile will I wear today? The happy one, the kind one, the friendly one? Dare I go through today not wearing a smile? Will I be able to say why I’m sad? NO! let’s do the happy one today. ….